The Grace Observed

So here I am, sitting on a bed, only a few meters away from my best friend, not knowing what to do.

She’s crying, crying about her life. Crying of what the life has given to her. Crying of those unanswered prayers. Crying of the rights to a happy life that seem to be taken away from her. Well, I know most of her problems. In fact, I can easily guess what problem that destroys her today. But I just don’t want to talk about it anymore. There have been so many days when I talked, and talked, and talked about her problems. And she knows exactly where I stand. I stand on the side of Jesus. I stand by the truth. So I am being utterly quiet right now. Melodies and sung words could do much of a favor, I presume, so I turn on some songs about God’s perfect love and His faithfulness, and let her cry over the songs. She knows the truth, as much as it hurts, but sometimes we all need to hear it again in a less-provocative way, through those beautiful worship songs.

My other best friend taught me one thing. Sometimes being silent is better than talking too much. A pat in the back is much better than a thousand words. Even the bible said so.

This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. (James 1:19 NASB)

So I am practicing the -silent is golden- thing and continue to hope in my heart that she could finally find a way out of this ugly pit she’s in.

I feel like crying. I am holding my tears, trying to look strong and content as if nothing happened. But I just can’t see my closest friend falling apart in front of me. I suddenly feel as broken as her. I want to go to the source of her problem and make it disappear. But I am not God. And God is actually achieving something in her character and her life through this problem. So the problem is not a problem for the Almighty Heavenly God. He is too sovereign for this. But human’s heart is too fragile, too doubtful, too easy to say “this is too big for me” or “I’m not cut out for this” or the most famous one “God doesn’t love me anymore”.

So I do what I have to do. I wait upon the Lord and pray. Pray as much as I can. Pray as earnestly as I can, pleading with God to give her a certain answer. And a peaceful mind. A content heart. And spiritual eyes that are fixed on Jesus. In every trials, be sure to fix your eyes on Jesus, the Almighty one, the one that has defeated everything on the cross. Not only satan, but also our weaknesses. Live with the fact that He has won the battle. And that we are more than conquerors if we abide in Him.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1, 2 NASB)