The Grace Observed

So let's talk about bitterness. The funny thing is, we all seem to love living in bitterness. And we love to contribute bitterness to each other so we could get even bitter everyday. And one day, if someone realizes that it is wrong to be bitter, and decides to fix his/her heart, we would be angry and think that he/she has left us dry and consider it as the ultimate betrayal of the century. Meanwhile, the main point is, it is wrong to be bitter, whatever good reason behind it. And if someone wants to be free from bitterness, we should at least support them, whether we like it or not.

I had a friend, she is bitter about something. I was having the same bitterness as her, and together we contributed to each other's bitterness. We loved each other because of that same bitterness we had toward something, or some people. It's been clear to me now, bitterness had been a fuel to our friendship. Every time we had the chance to meet, we would tell each other about our bitterness and pondered on it for a long two or three hours. Then after we felt better, we went home feeling that we have had a wonderful time.

Until one day, out of the blue, God did something in my life that lead me to losing my bitterness. Yes, my deep bitterness was immediately cleansed by God through a series of overwhelming events. I know it for sure that it's God's work because He told me to go to the person that was the center of my bitterness and seek for his help. And that person, out of mercy and grace, was willing to help me and even more than that, he was willing to forgive my bitterness.

Suddenly I just realized that I was wrong all the way. I am a God's servant, but I allowed bitterness entered my heart, and stayed there for a long time, without knowing what those 'dirts' can do to my heart. I just repented and walk away from my sin. A sin that I have just known exists in my heart. That's the thing that we should be afraid of. The sin of bitterness is sometimes, well, many times, invisible. We don't realize it's there, until it does some damages. And even if it does some painful damages in our lives, we still won't admit that it was caused by our bitterness. We are so good in defending our own bitterness!

As you might have guessed, as a result, I lost my friend. A very good friend. Because of this. Because it seems like I'm walking away and joining 'the enemies'. Though I'm not. I'm not walking away, and I'm not betraying a friendship. And I'm not changing sides, because God clearly forbids me from taking sides. Because it is not mine to take. Judgement is God's sovereign right, not mine.

I have chosen the path of repentance, that's all. And if I have got to lose a friend, or friends because of that, I so believe God can easily replace my sadness with His eternal joy. What I truly hope in my heart is, that my friend will experience the same freedom from bitterness as I do now. Because it surely feels good. And it will put you back in God's track. Remember that bitterness prevents blessing. If bitterness is in your heart, it will not be a comfortable place for God. And you can't have a fruitful life, if God, the source of all fruits, can't work freely in your life. Think about these things. Then check yourself if you are bitter.